I’ve been working on producing a recorded introduction to Natural & Village Intelligence Camp for a couple of weeks. I’ve spent 15 years getting ready for this. I feel ready for this. And yet this process of making a down to earth video with the tools and assistance I have is challenging, often like pushing a boulder uphill. In preparing this recording I have been met by a series of gremlins, so it feels. I make a little headway, come to a halt, reflect, digest and carry on. Same thing happens again.
Emergence is a teacher, that’s for sure. This morning I sat down to record the presentation AGAIN, and the power promptly went out. So for awhile I sat in the dark. And then went for a headlamp, found a lighter, lit a candle, and wrote this to make the best of the silence and absence of dirty electricity, to hear myself, ground myself and to centre in ‘the work.’
Calm, centered, helpful, interesting, productive, grateful, understanding, practicing elderhood.
Not inflamed or inflammatory, still surprising.
Not timid, ashamed, making excuses, spinning veils.
Not in competition, not to be taught, fixed or treated like an NPC in someone else’s game.
To see it, I must believe it, be it, be.
It’s time. Again. For leveling up. No big deal. Just is. This is life.
In motion – active – centered, discerning,
Intentional – intuitive, in spirit, in service.
Breaking free is an inside job.
Not here to escape or to save.
Not here to control, bribe, blackmail or take in any way, shape or form.
Just here to be Patti, mom to M & K, grandmother to O, mate to R and Familiar to dog and to cat.
To be a neighbour, friend and companion worth her salt.
Here to LOVE, to contribute, enjoy myself and create.
Not here to ignore all that is askew in relationship, health, community and authentication.
Not here to say ‘yes’ when I mean ‘no.’
Not here to be positive or negative.
Here to exchange in the change.
Empathy growing in my growing empathic self
Ever growing, in fact / never ending / as I navigate for myself as myself
Hoping to enhance a little the life in all that lives
As I move about.
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